She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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