My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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