We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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