Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
