the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
