i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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