Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
