I need to stop coming to work sober
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
