I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
