I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
