It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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