So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
