I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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