I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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