Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
