Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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