But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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