no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
