she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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