He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
