Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
