I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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