I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
