The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't deserve a penis
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
