I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
