While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
