been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
