I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
