We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
