you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
