Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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