i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
