5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
