oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
