When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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