i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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