Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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