I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize