I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I came so hard my ears popped.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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