Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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