so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
