my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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