I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
