Do you still have your period?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm always down for nudity.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
