he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
