What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
