Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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