We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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