Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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