I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize