I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
