I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
