The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
