True but thats because hes a fetus.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i think i just lost a toe
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
