yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
