he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
