Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
is wine microwaveable?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
