hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
