I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
