I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize