I think I am morally bankrupt
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
