I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
