honey bunches of taint.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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